F@#king good pain relief

Okay so the story about the healing power of the polo may have been a wee lie but this one seems to be genuine, honest!
 
According to scientists at Keele University, first aiders now have a new weapon to add to their armoury of pain relief. We can offer the patient entonox. We can offer them paracetamol. If all that fails though, we can now offer them a damn good swearing session.
 
The study was carried out by testing the reactions of people who had their hand submerged in freezing water. The results showed that people who cursed could cope with the pain for 50% longer than those who thought of fluffy things, presumably things like kittens and clouds.
 
So the next time you have a patient who is in pain, forget the fluffy bunny approach; there's no need for a good bedside manner; just ask them to do their best Gordon Ramsay impression and say the f-word very fast ten times*.
 
As is always the case, it is vital to get a good patient history as the research also suggested that the pain relief is better for those who swear infrequently**. Asking a persistent swearer to swear lots may have little effect on the pain and only result in more swearing, this time aimed at the first aider for not having proper drugs.
 
Having said that, the patient believing the first aider to be a complete muppet may distract them from their pain and ultimately achieve the same effect, but that's for another research project to discover.
 
* This may not actually work.
** Not even worth trying at Point to Point, perhaps stick to the traditional methods of pain relief.