Polos on prescription

First aiders have been subjected to a fair bit of mockery in the media lately, especially when television programmes like Little Britain suggest the only treatment a first aider can provide is a Polo mint.

It appears that the first aiders may be having the last laugh though, as scientists at the Wells Research Centre have made the startling discovery that Polos do have medicinal qualities that can aid the healing process in certain conditions.

In the research, carried out during March 2011, 50 patients with fractures to their tibias were assessed to find out what effect eating Polos would have on the injury.  25 patients were given a Polo to chew on every two hours while the remaining 25 were given a placebo.  In only two of the patients taking the placebo was there any reported improvement.  18 of the patients taking the Polo showed signs of recovery within 48 hours.

The findings of the study suggest it is the high oxygen content contained in the Polo’s hole that helps the body repair itself.  “The hole of each Polo contains about 21% oxygen, significantly more than your average mint.  When this is absorbed into the bloodstream, the chemical properties help bone tissues fuse together much more easily,” explained Dr Trebor who conducted the trials.

“This is an incredible discovery for the Centre and could lead to a number of future developments, one of which is the analgesic qualities of wine gums” said Prof. Murray, Director of Science at the Wells Research Centre.

The study has not been without its controversy however.  It was revealed earlier last month that seven of the patients in the trial had fractures to the right tibia and had to have the left tibia forcibly broken by researchers to ensure all the patients matched.  “For the greater good” was the only comment made by the Centre’s spokesperson at the time, a view fully endorsed by Royal Institute for Good Practice in Medicine.