Moat Boat Race

So why do we sign up to be volunteer first aiders? Is it the sense of satisfaction we get when providing treatment and making the patient feel better? Is it the warm feeling we get when the patient says ‘thank you’ and we know we’ve made a difference? Or perhaps, and this is probably more likely, it is the opportunity to take part in the annual Moat Boat Race.

The Oxford / Cambridge Boat Race and even next years Olympics pale into insignificance when it comes to racing home-made rafts along the moat of the Bishop’s Palace in Wells – the blue riband event of the British sporting calendar.

Our theme this year was Dad’s Army so our raft – ominously named ‘We’re Doomed!’ – was draped in the latest in camouflage technology, shredded black and green bin liners tied round some garden netting. Our oarsmen, led by Chief Engineer Ian Abraham, were dressed up as various characters – Captain Mainwaring, Sergeant Wilson, Corporal Jones, Private Frazer, Private Godfrey and the delightful Mrs Fox – all wearing their finery from the era, and the odd colander as well.

Photo courtesy of Christina Borastero

Our efforts (Ian’s efforts) in boat and costume design were soon rewarded as ‘We’re Doomed!’ was judged to be the best boat. The ensuing celebration was short-lived however as we were stripped of our title a few minutes later as the judges realised not all the boats were in the water.

In the end the cavers were given the honour (our honour) but promptly dismantled their boat once the judging was over. One would think that judging should be based on the vessel to be raced rather than some reconstructed model. We’re not bitter but already we have our lawyers scrutinising the rule book to see if there are grounds for appeal. It may even go as for as the Court of Arbitration in Sport.

With that controversy out the way, Lady Luck smiled on us once more as we got off to a exceptional start in our first race – the Community Challenge. Taking an immediate lead we managed to hold the racing line, demonstrated exquisite naval manoeuvrability to make a perfect turn at the halfway point before charging our way down the final straight to win the race. There may have been stiff competition from the police, but we won and the trophy was ours.

With that glorious victory in the bag there’s perhaps no need to report on the rest of the event. More to the point, the less said about the rest of the event the better. Suffice to say we won no more trophies and we did get a little wet. The good news is that we got some other teams very wet too as the final race finished with a massive water fight. I really hope the police don’t hold any grudges as they were somewhat targeted. Of course when I say the final race finished with a massive water fight, it would be slightly more accurate to say the water fight started long before the race ended. Nobody ever said naval warfare was a fair game.