New resus guidelines (not really)

IIt was recently reported that a team from Bristol including researchers from the University of the West of England, Great Western Ambulance Service NHS Trust and University Hospitals Bristol NHS Trust who were doing research into cardio pulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  The research was aiming to establish if there was a better way of resuscitating a patient in cardiac arrest.

It was reported that the study was going to take a year to complete but obviously they've come to a quick conclusion already.  I guess I must have missed that bit of reporting.

It looks like chest compressions are no more and rescue breaths have disappeared too.  What seems to be favoured, at least according to cabin crew at Ryanair, is to give the patient a sandwich and a soda. Charging for them of course.

During a flight from England to Sweden a passenger went into cardiac arrest but instead of performing CPR as they are supposedly trained to do, the cabin crew offered the passenger a sandwich and a soda.

They reported that "he had low blood pressure."  Indeed a patient's blood pressure does tend to drop when they stop breathing and the heart stops circulating blood around the body.

There was good news though and "the man appeared to stabilize."  At this point he was presented with his bill. Clearly a sandwich and soda does work as a form of treatment in cases of cardiac arrest so I will be sure to pack them in my first aid kit from now on.  I wonder if there will be further research on what sandwiches and types of soda work best - peanut butter on white bread washed down with a bottle of Irn Bru sounds like a winner.  What could possibly go wrong?

I just need to work out a new pricing policy now.